Welcome to the working world, where you keep your personal life to yourself or pay the consequences! Well, there are exceptions, but more often than not there’s an expected decorum to maintain regarding relationships in the office, as that can lead to a number of issues, more so if the relationship is within the same department. And if the relationship is between the manager and employee, it could be even worse.
So what happens when you combine that with two women who appear to enjoy being with each other, but one of them is a rising talent and the other is a chief — who by the way, is already married — you get I Love You So Much, I Hate You, where the boundaries of love are tested in an environment that mainly rebels against it.
So both our main leads — Saori Fujimura, a top worker at the company, and her boss, Ayaka Asano, who is not only the leader of the department’s division, but well respected by many inside and outside of it — are in a secret relationship. There are many reasons for that — how society views LGBTQ+ relations, a high-level manager personally dating a junior employee — but Ayaka is actually married to a guy. That guy, however, not only appears to be worthless but also cheating behind Ayaka’s back. So between that and general workplace politics, this probably shouldn’t be working out so well.
But it has been working out well enough! Both Saori and Ayaka end up discovering more about each other professionally and then privately (in dates and in bed, where Ayaka even notes Saori’s personality shift when they’re alone). However, knowing that she’s married leads to Saori pondering if she could ever get Ayaka to love only her, and an additional affair that’s rumored to be going on at work not only puts their private relationship on pause, it makes them question if they want to be together after all.
I Love You So Much, I Hate You is a very good read that isn’t completely unrealistic. It’s certainly likely relationships of this nature exist in real life. But this is probably not as sordid and bitter as the title would suggest. The focus is kept between these two, so while we get details on co-workers and family, it’s all about Saori and Ayaka. Saori realized she loves women growing up, but from only having crushes to the person Saori wanted to eventually confess to telling her she’s dating a man, she wanted to feel the types of emotions you get when you fall for someone you love, but it didn’t happen.
When she gets that from Ayaka though, she doesn’t realize it’s partly because Ayaka’s using her. At that point when they first start having sex, Ayaka thought that happiness for others is what made her happy. The guy she eventually married also seemed like a good catch, so it could’ve worked out. But she learns that made her unhappy, and between that, the pressure to have kids, and working life, she begins questioning what she wants, which is where Saori appears and shakes things up. And that started when she learned how good Saori was with her hands.
The manga picks up later on with a plot point that involves another character, but that becomes a big deal and ends up showing how fragile Saori and Ayaka’s romance was, and only time and figuring out what they want out of their lives is the only way for them to become closer. After that, how you view office politics will determine how much enjoyment you get out of the manga. There’s great care to show that these two are actually great at their jobs, but issues of relationships in the office is an understandable issue.
But the romance feels sweet, the art is very appealing, and the story is executed sharply. I Love You So Much, I Hate You is certainly a strong read for yuri fans, and for anyone looking for an office/romance read.